Seven Ways Theresa May is like iTunes

Just like all politicians can split opinion, so can a piece of software. Take celebrities and their phones for example! Perhaps the closest comparison to our current Prime Minister Theresa May is Apple's dated music player, iTunes. Take a break from all of the serious political chatter going on at the moment and follow our trail of thought.

1. They both interrupt what you want to hear

Remember back in 2014 when iTunes automatically downloaded U2's album Songs of Innocence onto your PC? It was a terrible marketing stunt that led to Bono having to apologise for his album sneaking its way onto thousands of syncing iPods. Well, Mrs May does something similar with the airwaves. She's always popping up on TV, social media ads and radio to make vague statements, push her latest policies and justify her existence. They both infiltrate our media outlets, whether we want to hear them or not.

2. Neither are built for modern times

We're in an age of streaming, testing out tunes before we commit to buying them and flirting around underground artists to find the next big thing. The likes of Spotify, Tidal and Amazon Play have pushed iTunes into the archive of music formats. Although iTunes is still trying to get into the streaming game with Apple Music, it still has yet to surpass Spotify’s number of paid subscribers. Compare this to Theresa May, who, if the recent election is anything to go by, has much less in common with today's youth and the under 30s than Labour's Jeremy Corbyn. You can bet he streams The Libertines' albums.

3. It's all about the dollar

Apple is notorious for taking every opportunity to get your money: planned obsolescence forces you to replace your devices every other year; official Apple accessories cost an arm and a leg; you have to buy music from Apple in order to enjoy it wherever you log in to iTunes. In the same way, the Conservatives look after those rolling in cash and have little regard for the everyman's pocket. It sucks to be the little guy.

4. Both restrict movement

Ever since Apple released the first iPod, iTunes has been annoyingly stubborn when it comes to flexibility. You can put music onto your iTunes to sync onto your iPod, but there's no easy way of reversing the process to rip music from another iPod onto iTunes. One of May's big beefs is about stopping freedom of movement, too. In April 2017, she said the Conservatives would commit to reducing net migration to the UK to less than 100,000 people. Neither of them promote openness or a willingness to let new things in.

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5. Every day, they're shufflin'

Okay, maybe not every day, but Theresa May has made a fair amount of shuffles in the Tory cabinet. Be it because people have left or because she wanted to refresh the look of her party, she's pushed politicians in and out to form a rotating upper class motley crew. Similarly, iTunes' horrible shuffle function will never let users ride on a wave of bangers, for it is determined to unearth the worst songs on your system when you least expect it. Michael Gove and Boris Johnson are the equivalent of your naffest ballads.

6. They are irritatingly stubborn

It doesn't matter how many petitions have been signed, how many seats the Tories have lost or how many protests there have been; Theresa May has stuck fast to that PM spot. She's basically got the same stubbornness as iTunes does when it ignores your connected iPod or fails to accept your album artwork. Grrr.

7. We have to grin and bear them

Even if you don't like iTunes or Theresa May, you are stuck with them for the time being. Until Apple gets a grip on its antiquated system and Jezza gets his foot in the door of Number 10, we've got to persevere with their annoying habits, out-of-date systems and less-than-pretty interfaces. If only we could system reboot parliament.

If you're not like Theresa and want some change in your life, download our free post-mobile app launch guide below!

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